Wash

Wash jokes

Dish

    • What's that thing that walks on two legs, washes dishes, sucks my cock, cooks, cleans, bends over for me and never fucking shuts up?

    Femoids.

  • 0

    • Dummy

    • Need a sock puppet for a joke.

    "Hey Soccy?" "What?" "Where do you come from?" "The laundry bin... I don鈥檛 wanna talk about it!" 馃ぃ

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    • Handjobs

    • A man walks into a restaurant. The waitress hands him a menu and it says: "Hot dog: $2, Hamburger: $5, Blowjob: $10."

    He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"

    She says, "Yes, I am."

    He tells her, "Good. Can you go wash your goddamn hands? Because I want a hot dog."

  • 1

    • Baptism

    • Do you know you鈥檙e supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?

    I guess that鈥檚 why Catholics invented baptism.

  • 2

    • Pimp

    • How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?

    Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.

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    • Patient

    • A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

    "Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

    Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

    He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

    Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.

    She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

    She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

    The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

    "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:

    "Are - my - test - results - back?"

  • 1

    • Stereotype

    • Men should pay for the first date, that鈥檚 why it鈥檚 called a (men)u.

    Then women should do the dishes, that鈥檚 why they call it a dish wash(her).

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    • Sock

    • What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?

    They both like keeping one sock for themselves.

  • 1