War

War jokes

2020

I'm telling my kids that in 2020 I survived world war 3, the zombie apocalypse, the invasion of the murder hornets, and the second American revolution.

  • 4
  • City

    What are the two hottest cities in the world? Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

    Orphan

    Why does the military recruit orphans?

    Because homing missiles don’t target them.

    Armor

    When the US Army found Chinese soldiers selling secrets to China, they said, "Looks like we have some chinks in our armor."

    Memes

    Pedophile

    What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?

    They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.

    Bomb

    What did the fat man say as he entered Nagasaki?

    Nothing, he just exploded.

    Gear

    The average French car has 7 gears, 6 of which are in reverse mode just in case the Germans come back.

    Orphan

    What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.

    Clock

    When a clock goes forward, it's tic-tac, but when Rommel goes backwards, it's tactic!

    Terrorist

    When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.

    A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.

    Japanese

    Why are Japanese always so skinny?

    Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.

    Feminist

    There is a feminist group in my town.

    It is called Gal-Qaeda.

    (I actually got this from The Simpsons, so credit to the show.)