War jokes
What did the fat man say as he entered Nagasaki?
Nothing, he just exploded.
What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?
They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.
Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?
Because it's a battlefield.
What are the two hottest cities in the world? Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Why does the military recruit orphans?
Because homing missiles don’t target them.
Q: When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?
A: Hiroshima, Japan 1946.
When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane.
What do you call a paralyzed turtle?
Shell shocked.
Why are Japanese always so skinny?
Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.
I called a suicide hotline in Iraq. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost two towers.
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.
Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"
John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"
Hey, my grandfather was part of WWII. Yeah. He killed Hitler!
What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?
"Okay guys, watch very carefully because I can only show you this demonstration once."
The average French car has 7 gears, 6 of which are in reverse mode just in case the Germans come back.
When a clock goes forward, it's tic-tac, but when Rommel goes backwards, it's tactic!
People: Stop invading Ukraine!
Putin: Ukraine? you mean Mykraine.