War jokes
Why did Hitler stop playing Golf?
He kept getting stuck in the Bunker.
I'm telling my kids that in 2020 I survived world war 3, the zombie apocalypse, the invasion of the murder hornets, and the second American revolution.
What did the fat man say as he entered Nagasaki?
Nothing, he just exploded.
Q: When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?
A: Hiroshima, Japan 1946.
Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?
Because it's a battlefield.
Memes
What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?
They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.
What are the two hottest cities in the world? Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Why does the military recruit orphans?
Because homing missiles don’t target them.
Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
What do you call a paralyzed turtle?
Shell shocked.
I called a suicide hotline in Iraq. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost two towers.
Why are Japanese always so skinny?
Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.
The average French car has 7 gears, 6 of which are in reverse mode just in case the Germans come back.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
When a clock goes forward, it's tic-tac, but when Rommel goes backwards, it's tactic!
People: Stop invading Ukraine!
Putin: Ukraine? you mean Mykraine.
1 like = 1 more missile aimed at a hospital.
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
There is a feminist group in my town.
It is called Gal-Qaeda.
(I actually got this from The Simpsons, so credit to the show.)