I'm telling my kids that in 2020 I survived world war 3, the zombie apocalypse, the invasion of the murder hornets, and the second American revolution.
War Jokes
Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?
Because it's a battlefield.
What are the two hottest cities in the world? Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Why does the military recruit orphans?
Because homing missiles don’t target them.
When the US Army found Chinese soldiers selling secrets to China, they said, "Looks like we have some chinks in our armor."
Q: When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?
A: Hiroshima, Japan 1946.
What do you call a paralyzed turtle?
Shell shocked.
I called a suicide hotline in Iraq. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
What did the fat man say as he entered Nagasaki?
Nothing, he just exploded.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost two towers.
Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
The average French car has 7 gears, 6 of which are in reverse mode just in case the Germans come back.
What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?
They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
When a clock goes forward, it's tic-tac, but when Rommel goes backwards, it's tactic!
People: Stop invading Ukraine!
Putin: Ukraine? you mean Mykraine.
1 like = 1 more missile aimed at a hospital.
Why are Japanese always so skinny?
Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.
Where did Janet go during the bombing? Everywhere.
What do you call a retreat in war?
A backup plan.
