I was in Afghanistan and I had been captured by the Taliban. I was going to get the death penalty.
Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo Penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now I will die. Shame on u Penaldo!
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
What was the last thing that went through PH's head?
Water and smoke.
Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.
Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Ukraine will go puff.
Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time it was sung... the line “fire away” caused massive confusion and shooting!
Who ended Franz Ferdinand's COD account?
He ended with a Black Handed bang.
During the Great War, a man holding a machine gun shoots down a swarm of soldiers running on a swamp.
He says: "You came to the wrong swamp, Americans! You came to the wrong swamp!" *He didn't stop firing.*
Hope the towers are doing well this morning, and I'll get back to you!
Teacher: Tell me a moral story.
Little Johnny: Once my grandfather was in WW2. He saw everyone praising to kill him. For example, we should sneak up and kill him. We get the helicopter above and shoot him from there. My grandfather heard this, he got his gun and shot them all.
Teacher: What is the moral even?
Little Johnny: Never plan to kill my grandfather.
What do you call a Taliban in a bath bomb?
The Romans conquered Africa, they conquered Europe, they conquered Britain, then they stopped. They probably ran out of conkers.
What has 15 arms, 9 legs, 8 heads, and 12 eyeballs?
A mosque after a missile strike.
Why did Hitler stop playing Golf?
He kept getting stuck in the Bunker.
My granddad killed Hitler.
What first went through Sally’s head when the Nazis came?
A bullet.
All go gansta until the two towers fall down on you.
What kind of mask are you wearing?
An Elon Musk!
I'm going to pull out your lungs faster than Joe Biden pulled troops out of Afghanistan.
