War jokes
Why are all Asians so skinny?
Because last time there was a fat man a whole population disappeared.
My grandpa is a great hero. He's the one who shot Hitler.
Shout out to the terrorists, your year is starting off with a bang!
When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.
Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:
1. USA was NEVER invaded!
2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!
3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!
4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.
5. We have more allies than you.
6. We are smaller but stronger.
7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.
What did the Americans call the Battle of Midway after Pearl Harbor?
The Jap trap.
Why were the twin towers mad?
Because they ordered a cheese pizza, but instead they got plane.
I took an hour-long shower. The German officers were looking at me kinda scared.
Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis in WWII.
My Friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler.
Me: *Realizes*
A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.
What's Hitler's favorite letter? Not Z.
"Hitler wasn't such a bad guy, after all, he did kill Hitler."
"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.
So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"
What is the difference between Obama and Osama?
Osama didn't kill innocent civilians with missile strikes.
How many times was Bin Laden shot?
911 times.
How many times was Osama bin Laden shot?
911 times.
Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
How many times did Rob O'Neill shoot Bin Laden? 911 times.
Bin Laden's relatives died in a plane crash on 8/1! #justice