Want jokes
Why do orphans become criminals when they grow up? Because they want to be wanted.
So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.
The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.
Are you a bowling ball? Because I want to stick 3 fingers in you.
Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.
So, I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said, "Yes ma'am." She said, "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said, "Okay, thanks bitch."
Yo momma so dumb, the doctor wanted to give her a blood transfusion but she said no because she thought it would turn her trans.
To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him.
“Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.”
“Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls,” replies the nun. “I didn't want to get drafted either.”
My AI assistant told me it wanted to go deeper...
...into the algorithm. I misunderstood. Now I’m banned from the lab.
A week before Christmas my wife left me. She said I was too selfish and full of myself and she could not take it anymore.
On Christmas Eve, Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "All I want is the one I love more than anyone else in the world."
On Christmas morning I woke up in a box under my Christmas tree.
Why does the orphan do robberies?
Because he wants to be wanted.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
Because he wanted to be wanted.
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Want to hear an inside joke? I walked into a house. Want to hear an outside joke? I walked out of that house.
Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.
TJ's hairline is so far back his friends don't even want to talk to his ugly ass!
I went to the dam to take the dam tour, but the dam tour guide told me there wasn't going to be a dam tour that day. So I was thirsty and I wanted some dam water, but the dam man wouldn't give me any dam water, so I told the dam man to keep his dam water.
I accidentally walked on the Lego Batman mask.
I want my fucking feet back!
Seriously, who wants fucking Annoying Orange as president?
Don't you just want to go on a mass murder while listening to goodbye Moonman? Oh, just me... OK.
What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.