Want jokes

What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?

When you have a gun in your hand.

Chinese Names - Annie Wan (Anyone)

Caller: "Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?"

Operator: "Yes, you can speak to me."

Caller: "No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!"

Operator: "You are talking to someone! Who is this?"

Caller: "I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent."

Operator: "I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?"

Caller: "Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one) was involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital."

Operator: "Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious, but I don't have time for this!"

Caller: "You are so rude! Who are you?"

Operator: "I'm Saw Lee (Sorry)."

Caller: "Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!"

"Me tells dad joke often."

"I want to hear it."

"Me? You wouldn't get it."

Who wants to see me rape a toddler?

Hey guys, I’m back, just wondering if anyone is still on this that wants me to make more.

What's a convict's favorite song?

"I want to break free."

At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.

Q: The person who makes it doesn't say what it is.

The person who receives it doesn't know what it is.

The person who knows what it is doesn't want it.

What am I?

A: A baby.

Want my opinion on Mongolia? It has its pros and Khans.

Why did the orphan rob a bank?

To be wanted.

Want to know why parents don't get school shooting jokes?

Because they are aimed at a younger audience.

Want to know of a funny joke?

Women drivers.

She really wanted a boner.

Why did the transgender girl want to be a boy?

Because momma never raised no pussy.

Why do orphans play GTA? To get wanted.

Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?

A: They both want Anthony's neck.

There are two siblings, a little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night and take her home. So they get to the bigger brother's house and walk into his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk beds. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "Whenever you feel good, say 'lettuce,' and whenever you want to switch positions say 'tomato'." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato," and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, "Can you guys stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over me."

I don't want to die alone... That is why I am working my way up to become a suicide bomber!

Hey, you person who's scrolling, please leave your HONEST opinion on life. Do you think "life sucks" or "eh, it's okay," etc.? It can be short; if you don't want to, then that's okay.

Hi, if you are suffering with depression and want to talk about it, please do so in the comments, and just know you are NOT alone.