Want jokes
Once there were three girls taking a walk in the mountains. One was a brunette, one was a redhead, and the other was a dumb blonde. They came to a cliff and the brunette said, "If you jump off that cliff and say what you want to be you will become it." So the brunette jumped off and said "falcon" and became a falcon. The redhead jumped off and said "eagle" and became an eagle. The dumb blonde ran, was about to jump, but tripped on a rock, and said "crap."
You want to know what the ugly truth looks like?
Go look in the mirror.
A boy and girl in high school started dating for a while and things were going so well that the girl decided to invite the boy on a weekend trip. She said, "I want you to come spend the weekend at our lakehouse and meet my parents. While we're there, I'd also like to take our relationship to the next level." "I'm there," the boy replied.
The boy was so excited that he ran straight to the pharmacy to pick up some protection. He walked up to the pharmacist and told him about his weekend to come and said he needed some condoms. The pharmacist asked, "Do you want the 3 pack, 6 pack, or family sized 24 pack?" The boy replied, "I plan on getting busy all weekend. I'm not gonna stop pounding her till I'm black and blue. Give me the family pack." "Sure thing," said the pharmacist.
That weekend the boy went to the lakehouse and the whole family was sitting down at the dinner table to pray. The girl's father asked the boy to say grace. The boy prayed and prayed. Almost ten minutes went by. Finally, the girl leaned over to the boy and said, "You never told me that you were so religious." The boy replied, "You never told me that your dad was a pharmacist."
She said she wanted me to treat her like a dishwasher. So I loaded her up, ran her through a rough cycle, and left her wet and broken on the floor.
My wife treats me like God!
She takes no notice of my existence until she wants something.
Memes
A flirting tip for the boys
You want a joke? My entire existence.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?
He didn't give me any.
I was made by the Devil.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Rizz.
Are you a dinosaur? Because I want to blow you up.
Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.
Are you a playground? Because I want to put my kids in you.
Why does Darth Vader always choke people?
Because he wants them to feel what his Sith Lord does to him in bed.
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re not wanted!
Why are there so many black men in the NBA that only want to play basketball on a all black basketball team? because they prefer to suck a long and thick big black dick
Why can't an orphan get 5 stars in GTA? Because they are not wanted.
Why do orphans play GTA? Because they can’t be wanted.
Why did the M&M go to school?
Because it wanted to be a Smartie!
Why didn't the pirate want to play cards?
Because he was standing on the deck!
Why did the orphan play GTA? So he could get wanted.