Want jokes

Orphan: I want to be a relator.

Teacher: Why?

Orphan: Because I never had one in my childhood.

Yo mama so fat when she wanted to get wet, she used the highway as a slippin' slide!

Q. Why did the cow cross the road?

A. Because he/she wanted to watch the moooovie.

Do you want to hear a paper joke?

Never mind, it's tear-able!

Why did Pikachu chase Ash?

Because he wanted to Ketchum.

Jack and his kids went to the lake, and his mother wants him to go swimming. You know what he says? "Back where you came from!"

My friend said she wanted to fly, so I pushed her off a building.

Unless Israel wants to become Hell Aviv, it would put itself on a tight leash, delivered specially from Uncle Sam.

I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.

They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.

Say what you want about Jeffrey Epstein, but at least he knew how to take out the trash.

Hi, my name is Meer Adnan Hussain. I am a Muslim. I live in Karachi, an area of Pakistan. I want this job. I am interested in this work. Please take me in this work. Your porn star, Meer Adnan Hussain. Wait for your email. Okay.

This ole boy that's locked up called his ole lady and got into it with her, and she said, "Well, fuck you, I don't need you no more anyway. I got 2 or 3 guys out here wanting me and trying to fuck me."

He said, "Well, honey, that's the least of my worries. I got 10 or 12 guys in here tryin' to fuck me."

You used to call me on your cellphone when you need my love.

Mad girl: SHUT UP! YOU ARE SO ANNOYING! I DON'T WANT TO CALL YOU ON MY CELL PHONE!

Attention to everyone, I'm not going to be on for 2 weeks because I was in a bike accident, or more like a motorcycle accident. I was ran off the road when my 16 year old brother was taking me for a ride. Now I can't use my legs cause, well, you know. I will be taking a break because I don't want to move my legs that much.

Once Jimmy was minding his own business, then he hears his mom come home. He asked, "Where have you been?" She replied with, "I was at work," yet he knew his mom did not have work. So the next day, while heading to school, he gets a phone call saying his mom is pregnant, and they want to try their device, and they need the baby's dad to say if it's alright.

The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear.

“I never want you to use language like that again. Where on earth did you pick it up?”

“From my father,” said Johnny.

“Well, he should be ashamed of himself. And it’s no reason for you to talk like that. You don’t even know what it means.”

“I do,” said Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”

Once upon a time, there was a crow with a piece of cheese in its mouth. Then a fox came, and when he saw the piece of cheese, he tried to trick the crow. He said that the crow's voice was beautiful, and then he said he wanted to hear him sing, so the crow started singing, and then the piece of cheese fell out of his mouth. He said never trust anyone, and then he walked away.

Why did God create women with pussies?

Because:

1. Of course, God is a man.

2. Of course, he isn't gay.

3. Of course, he is a perv too (for wanting more pussies)!

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like everyone else in the plane.

What do you tell your butt cheek when you need to use the bathroom? "Hold it in, so you won't get constipated and die."