Want jokes

The priest wanted the little boy to touch his cross. The boy said, "It's hard." Then it shot out holy water, and the priest said, "Come again and taste the second cumming of Jesus, lmao."

"One silent evening, a man walks to his fridge to get some food. He sets out a fork and napkin on the table. He reaches to grab a salad topped with olives and cheese. He sets the food down on the table and begins to add tomatoes, condiments, and..." He is interrupted. "Why are you saying this aloud?" A young boy asks his father. The father replies with, "You wanted to know how to live on your own, but I guess experience is more helpful," he says as he rushes the child out of the front door.

Three Vulcans walk into a bar.

The bartender asks the first Vulcan, "Y'all want a drink?" The first Vulcan says, "I don't know."

The bartender asks the second Vulcan, "Y'all want a drink?" The second Vulcan says, "I don't know."

The bartender asks Spock, "Y'all want a drink?" Spock says, "Yes."

Why does former president Donald J. Trump still want the Mexican government to help him to build a wall to keep them out because he is a Christian nationalist on steroids?

Trump wants people to think he's a great golfer. But the only handicap he has is a mental one.

Orphans and punching bags are almost the same.

They both get hit, but a punching bag is still wanted.

What does an orphan not have in common with a criminal?

Criminals are wanted.

When a fat person wants to kill themselves, why are they so worried? The diabetes will get to them sooner or later!

You want to hear a cheesy pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy!

Hehehehehe.

One day a woman met with a man behind an abandoned shop.

The man asked for some crack.

The woman turned around and said, "Here."

That's where the crack was, you guessed it.

The next day, she wiped it clean, ready for the next guest who "wanted crack."

I wanted to visit my pet fish, but it was hard to sea it through the darkness.

Why don't lesbians like dick? Because they don't want their mouths looking like Jesus Christ's hands.

Your mum is so fat, when the doctors did her x-ray, the doctor said to her, "I want your x-ray, not an elephant's x-ray!"

You are so fat and ugly, Chucky didn't even want to play with you.

Little Johnny: Dad, why are you rubbing the horse's chest and butt?

Dad: I want to see if it's good enough to buy.

Little Johnny: I think Uncle Joe wants to buy Mom.

What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.

Girl, are you a public school? Because I want to shoot my kids inside you.

I only wanted to ruin the 69 jokes.

My fat friend went to the doctor because he wanted to know his blood type. After performing some tests, the doctor said, "Well, the test results have shown that your blood type is ragu."

Chris said to me in P.E. that he likes Jacob, and he said he wants to go straight to the bedroom.