Want jokes

My buddy and I both wanted to marry a woman who happened to be an amputee.

Sadly, my buddy won her heart, but I got her leg.

I just figured out the "X" in Max stands for the button on Tinder every girl wants to press when they see him.

Why don't heterosexual men want to suck bananas because they taste like octopus and squid?

Can a cook and clean for real? No, I do not want no rabbit hare in my house.

I will give you all the fine chicks you want. Just dial this number: 313-974- tap that ass from Hooters strip club.

I'm lonely, but all I have is my cheeseburger, but what is the matter of living if you only have one thing?

But a cheeseburger is all you need 'cause it has 1,000,000,000,000 bucks man, so I can't just take it and spend it wherever I want.

Two friends wanting to find out if their buddy was gay.

The two walked up to their buddy and said, "Get down!" and he kneeled down.

I never feel offended if my friends don't wish me a happy birthday.

Because that's what I want.

Want to know something good about people giving ZERO fucks about you and living in the country?

Everybody knows nothing.

Why don't rappers use the subway?

Because they don't want to miss their next rhyme.

What does a ginger do when they want to high five a friend? They clap.

The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex, but one second later, she did it on the street with a criminal.

"Florida was ranked the worst state in the 50 states by Thriller."

Florida: Well, WE didn't want to give our oranges anyway!

A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender asks what he wants. The man says, "I would like one beer for me and one for the road."

Why did the mermaid want to go to the evil monster so it could get a real joke? Ha, ah, ah, ha!

I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said, "Na."

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because his son wanted to charge their phone, so they unplugged him.

Cooper and Max want to get fucked in the ass by guys.

Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

They don’t want to be mistaken for a feminist.

Want one way to get a free haircut?

Call the cancer hotline.