Want jokes

Want to hear an inside joke? I walked into a house. Want to hear an outside joke? I walked out of that house.

Why did the boy shoot the clock? He wanted to kill time.

Q. Why did the orphan rob a bank?

A. To feel wanted for the first fucking time.

Three guys landed on a cannibal island. The cannibal chef told them if they wanted to live, they had to go get 10 of one fruit and bring it to him, and he would tell them what to do.

So the first guy brings 10 apples, and the chef said if he could shove all 10 of those in his ass without making a sound, he could live. He was three apples in and made a sound, and they ate him. The second guy brought grapes; nine grapes in, and he burst out laughing. The cannibals ate him. Then the first guy said, "Why'd you laugh? You were almost there!" The other guy who had the grapes said, "I couldn't help it, I was told the third guy came back with 10 pineapples."

I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.

Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to go to the movies.

Mom: SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND CLEAN MY ROOM! YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE!

Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!

I wanted to visit my pet fish, but it was hard to sea it through the darkness.

My teacher said, "I'm gonna leave soon, I don't want to be here anymore!" So I shot her.

Why did Technoblade die?

'Cause he wanted to Skyblock in Heaven!

I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."

My brother said, "You want a cookie?"

A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Give me 2 beers." The bartender gives him two beers and coughs in the guy's beer bottles before giving it to him. The guy says to the bartender, "Hey, what are you doing? I didn't order Bud Lights, I want Corona beer." The bartender replies, "Sir, I gave you a mix of Bud Light and Corona, and it's on the house, everyone is drinking Corona tonight."

What’s the difference between an orphan and a donut?

People want donuts.

I wanted to make a belt out of watches, then I realized it was a waste of time!

A gay guy and a trucker get in a car crash.

The gay guy says, "Somebody call the police! This man just rammed into me!"

The trucker says, "What the fuck did you just say, fucker? Get over here, I'm gonna wreck your ass!"

The gay man then says, "It's okay, everybody, don't call the police! He wants to negotiate."

Why did the squirrel do the backstroke?

He wanted to keep his nuts dry.

Why do orphans play GTA 5?

To get wanted!

What's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school?

When you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)

What does NASA say when they don’t want to go in space: Never Access Space Again.

Hate me all you want, but I rather love bullying in all fairness. I love to watch all the loner kids being abused while simultaneously making a prediction for when which one of them will finally snap and shoot up the school.