Want jokes
My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.
I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.
To RANDYYYY,
Hi Randy, this is ALYA. I don't want to fight with you. If you're an orphan and you do know about your past, you probably get sad, right? Well, these jokes just bring up the bad times for me.
-ALYA with love
Awww, Gwen thinks she has a boyfriend! Oh wait, no you don't! She is just some loser ass bitch who could be a ho, you don't know. He was mine, and I want him back!
My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.
Is laughing a problem?
Laughing at what?
I want to jump.
Jump—what?
Jump off the hook.
Are you bleach? Because I want you inside of me.
Gwen just wanted to help you with the bullying.
Tip 1. Ignore them; bullies are really just cowards.
Tip 2. Stand up for yourself; it's ok for people to also help you, but you do the same for yourself!
Tip 3. Just let them be; they're just stupid!
Love you-Iariah
She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.
I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, "I still love Vista, baby."
My friend is a pimp.
I think he's having an existential crisis. Lately, he just wants to be alone with his thots.
A girl walks into an Adult Store. "Hi, I want to buy that red dildo right there."
Cashier: "That's a fire extinguisher, you whore."
Are you a wild girl, cause I want to catch you with my pokeballs?
The man was Indian. He moved to England because he wanted to learn, so got a job at the store. He learned how to say "register," then he was a business man. He learned how to say "59887," then "restaurant," so he learned how to say "fork and knives." So a man came with a knife. The cop came and asked the man which was the killer who killed him. He said, "Him," and pointed to the Indian man. The cop asked, "What did you use?" He said, "Register." The cop asked for ID. "59887." The cop asked, "Anything on you, forks and knife?" He said, "Me me me."
My teacher said, "I'm gonna leave soon, I don't want to be here anymore!" So I shot her.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a sugar donut?
People want donuts.
A guy was on trial for murder, and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.
The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.
After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done, and paid him the $10,000.
The redneck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and wanted to let him go.
Why did the rapper become an archaeologist?
Because he wanted to dig for old-school beats!
My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.