Want jokes

Some people are such "treasures" that you just want to bury them.

Yo mama so fat when she steps on the scale it says, "We want your weight not your phone number."

"How would you describe a really bad skeleton?"

"Bad to the bone!" (Or "Rotten to the bone" if you want.)

Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?

In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.

My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.

Why did the rapper become a chef?

Because he wanted to drop some HOT MIXTAPES.

What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

My friend: I want to cut myself.

Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.

Is there a racist jokes page here? I’m not racist, I just want to know.

I wish you were a soap, because I want you all over me.

Stephen Hawking said he wants other physicists to follow in his footsteps.

Yo mama is so ugly that not even the Socs wanted to jump her.

Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.

Hitler says, “Yes.”

Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”

Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”

What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a carpet muncher, you have to give her money.

If 9/11 happened again, I want to share a selfie of me flying that plane.

Why were the Twin Towers mad?

They wanted pepperoni, but got plane instead.

You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?

Why can’t orphans be criminals?

Because they’re not wanted.

No, I don't want to.

Shaenaya hates me, help! And she wants to suck off ******* and ****** and ***** and *****.