Want jokes
What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?
You don't want your computer to go down on you.
I don't want to taco about myself.
Want to hear an inside joke? I walked into a house.
Want to hear an outside joke? I walked out of that house.
A man had moved to a new country with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there, telling them he wanted his dog to be groomed.
The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours." So the man left and came back a couple hours later. When he asked about his dog, he was given a box of jerky. He found out "Happy Dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.
You can say what you want about deaf people...
Seriously, who wants dicks?
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it wanted to be Argon.
There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed, and they all went to heaven.
God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said, "I want to be handsome." God granted his wish. The second guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the first guy." God granted his wish. The third guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the second guy." God granted his wish, and this continued on and on until the 15th ugly guy. The ugly guy was laughing, really hard. "What is your wish?" God asked him. "I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!!!" God granted his wish.
If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.
What does Christian say when he wants out of jail?
"Bale me out!"
Want to hear a racist joke?
Donald Trump.
You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.
Q: Why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?
A: Because they were a racquet!
This year my friends wanted to dress up as crayons for Halloween. They asked me if I wanted to be a tan crayon. I didn’t want to, but I said yes to be nice. I wish I had said no, because now I look like a dick to everyone else.
One day, this dad and his son went to a basketball factory, and the son said, "I want to buy some balls." The dad said, "What for?" The son said, "So you can have some balls."
Do you want to hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it's tear-able.
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn't want to be spotted.
Want to hear a joke? I swear it isn't about my life again.
My mom and dad made a joke together and called it "yeetsu" (me)!
I wanted to solve teen suicide, so I shot up a middle school.
What do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job?
Showing them the ropes.