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Why did the rapper become a tailor?

Because they wanted to drop some fresh THREADS.

Yo mama so fat when she steps on the scale it says, "We want your weight not your phone number."

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”

Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.

She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too fuckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!"

Why did the rapper become a gardener?

Because he wanted to drop some ROOT RHYMES.

Why did the rapper become a fisherman?

Because he wanted to reel in the BEST HOOKS.

Why did the rapper become a barber?

Because he wanted to CUT through the competition!

Why did the rapper become a chef?

Because he wanted to drop some HOT BARS in the kitchen!

Why did the rapper become a gardener?

Because he wanted to drop some FRESH SEEDS.

I met a fat chick at the beach.

People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?

I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.

He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.

Why did Daveon decide to become a magician? Because he wanted to make his problems "Daveon" disappear.

Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"

Why did the rapper become an archaeologist?

Because he wanted to dig for old-school beats!