Wait jokes

My wife purely hates me for me having sex with our daughter.

It's not my fault I couldn't wait to get out of the abortion clinic!

Hitler is a national hero, he killed Hitler... Oh wait.

I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question.

Still waiting on an answer.

My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."

I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."

You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????

Ugly face dude: Hi kiddo!

Kid: Hi kid. Leaves.

Kid turns back and says: Wait a minute, who are you?

I walk into my driveway. Stephen Hawking is on my roof.

Oh wait, never mind, he just fell.

I saw twins. I’m just waiting for those planes.

Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.

What do us emos all have in common?

Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."

A mathematics professor arrived home at 3 am drunk.

His wife was up waiting for him.

"You said you'd be home by 11:45!" she yelled.

He responded, "No my dear, I said I'd be home at a quarter of 12."

Weed: *gets hit by his own power*

Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?

Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?

Why did Stephen Hawking cross the road?

Oh wait, he didn't.

Want to hear my pencil joke? Wait, I'm still writing it.

Can't wait for Stephen Hawking's next update.

Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.

While I was waiting for your mum to waddle past, I missed a whole season of my TV show!

Git is going to let Bill Cosby out of jail. Oh wait, he watched Little Bill.

Kobe is a legend and is nothing to joke about. Wait till you crash and burn!

"Bully," omg, that girl is so ugly.

"Me," Wait, what...ever.