Newest Violence Jokes - Page 2

I do consider Johnny Depp to be a victim of domestic violence...

Just like how I consider a children's hospital run by Michael Jackson and a retirement home run by Harold Shipman to be both safe places to be in.

why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?

Because its a battlefield

What's suicide bombers' biggest fear? Dying alone

One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments

Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!” Kid: “Whatever” Principal: Why did you have to swear” Because of that one demerit!” Kid; “Doesn't matter!” Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!” Kid: “Oh well!” Principle: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!” Kid: “Im try not to kill myself!”

What's the difference between sex and rape? Some effective drugs

Violence against women is funny :)

There was a orphan once and someone knocks on his door and said "hello son come and hug me" but the orphan says "excuse me who are you?" and the guy says "you dont remember me im your dad" and then the orphan says "fine then if your really my dad, come inside and let me asked you some questions" and the man says "ok then but i am really your dad" then the orphan asked some questions to the man and the man gets some of them right so the orphan believes that the man is his dad and then the orphan says "you really are my dad?" and then he shows his dad his house and the orphan has a room mate and the dad and the orpahn finally get to then bedroom and then the dad knocks out the orphan and then the dad starts to have something with the orphan / son and the room mate hears weird noises in the orphans / sons room and he walks in and see them having seggs and the room mate records it but then kicks out the dad out f the house and then the room mate shares the video to the orphans school chat and then the next day the dad gets arrested because he was actually a gay nonce and everybody at the orphans school call him gay but he really isnt but since he was mad and disgusted he pulled a AK47 out of his bag and kills everybody in the school and was never seen again.

Btw this is a joke so dont take it seriously.

The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals. I hacker, a rapist, a serial killer and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial decides that she want’s to change, but when she see a knife she just can’t help it. He bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist get teleported back to prison

Why do so many kids die in school shootings ? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors

I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas. He said it was the most violent book he ever read.

Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.

He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.

Like if your dad is abusive

Why did the school shooter earn extra points? Bcz he was on a kill streak.

A Person that puts a RickRoll in a book is actually the hero we all needed...

Never has a man influenced physics so profoundly as Niels Bohr in the early 1900's.
Going back to this time period, little was known about atomic structure; Bohr set out
to end the obscurity of physics. However things didn't come easy for Bohr. He had to
give up most of his life for physics and research of many hypothesis. But, this is why
you and I have even heard of the quantum theory and atomic structures. Bohr came
up with his quantum theory while studying at Cambridge. Bohr was a skeptic and he
never truly believed in Max Planck's old quantum theory. He put forth the idea that,
going from one high-energy orbit o a lower one, an electron could, in fact, be trying
to emit a quantum of discrete energy. Bohr was criticized for this idea, but he didn't
let up. Soon after, Bohr said his famed quote,"If quantum mechanics hasn't shocked
you, you haven't understood it yet." This quote is extremely famous and has gone
down as the motto for quantum physicist around the world. Understandably, Bohr
never won a Nobel prize outside of physics (of which he only won one). Bohr's still
going strong with his theories on atomic structure; he allowed for 100's of scientists
to fully experiment with the cell and its many components. Bohr was largely on the
run from the Nazi's when he came up with this discovery, which is amazing because
around this time, Bohr's home country of Denmark was invaded by the Nazi's. Bohr
and Ernest Rutherford are given credit, but it is believed that Rutherford decided to
desert Bohr in the middle of their work. Rutherford once, quite famously said that
you should never bet against the wonders of science. Niels Bohr's famous career
never really kicked off until he was forty years old. Most other major scientists were
going all over the world with their ideas by their early twenties. However, in order
to preserve the legacy of Niels Bohr, he has his own institution, whose goal is to
make many more great strides in the field of physics for years. How did Bohr affect
you and me? Without Niels Bohrs' more advanced atomic theory, we might as well
cry over how little we know of the atoms and their compounds. Physics would have
never been such a force in the todays society. However, to this day, research is still
going on to improve and update the atomic theory. Although scientists clearly want
to improve on Bohr's theory, many famous physicists come out publicly and openly
say that Bohr's ideas will never be improved upon, todays society cannot say
goodbye to an opportunity to improve our understanding of the sciences. If Bohr
never had silenced his critics, we would still be following Planck's theories, and
going on incomplete information. Bohr's later life was all occupied when he decided
to go back to Denmark and head the Royal Danish Academy. His main goal was to
tell the world of the of the greatness of the Danish Sciences and most likely educate
a new crop of scientists for years to come. There is controversy surrounding Bohr's
lie during his stint in the Manhattan project. Though he claimed to be anti-violence
and a peace-seeker, Bohr engineered on the Manhattan Project. Though he didn't
hurt anyone directly, thousands of people died. Neils Bohr opened many doors for
you and I in the physics world, he will go down as one of the greatest physicists.

Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator? He grew up a Florida Man, after all.

What a school shooter favorites song

Pumped up kicks

Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets? That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.

if raping someone is sexual harrasment, then is raping a rapist inverted harrasment?

rape isn't a joke. it's a type of way of making friends, and to mate with other women. it's a way of art, and works on anybody! like this if you agree.