Violence jokes
Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.
My doctor told me, "Time heals wounds."
So I stabbed him.
Now we wait...
Where did Sally go when the bomb went off?
Everywhere.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.
What can you give a white person that you can't give to a black person?
A black eye.
Memes
What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.
I once got raped. I was asking for it though.
What's worse than a pile of dead babies?
One at the bottom that's still alive.
What's worse than that?
It's forced to eat its way out.
What's even worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can watch the expression on their face.
What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?
Freeze.
What's black, gold, and red all over?
Tupac in Vegas.
A brunette fought and didn't get raped.
A blonde thought and did get raped.
Did you know penguins can actually fly if thrown hard enough... Just like children.
90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.
What is red and very rare?
A child in a blender.
I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."
What’s the difference between a retard and a zombie? Nothing much, they both dribble, moan, are hungry, walk weirdly, and it takes a bullet in the head to put them both down.
What's red and screams when you shake it?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
When the school shooter kills the teacher and the autistic kid declares communism