Violence jokes
What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.
I usually don’t make school shooting jokes.
Because they’re aimed at a younger audience.
So, I was watching YouTube, and then my friend says, "Those videos never get old." I replied, "Just like a Make-A-Wish kid." After I said that, he shot me in the head and said, "And now neither do you." Now I’m in Heaven, and God says to me, "Welcome to Paradise where it is summer days, clear skies," and I said, "Are there summer women?" Now here I am in Hell with my buddy Hitler. I believe he’s a hero after he killed Hitler.
A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said, "That's domestic violence!" The man replied with, "No, it's not domestic violence, it's dumbass-d*ck violence!"
Where did Susie go after the bomb exploded?
Everywhere.
Where did Sally go when the explosion happened?
Everywhere!
My favorite sex position is the “JFK,” I splatter all over her as she screams to get out of the car 😂
Q: Why did Sally get beat up?
A: She couldn’t fight back.
Lil Johnny looked a lil bonny, but then when he saw Tommy, he decided to bomb me.
How did the Indian suicide bomber blow himself up?
He pressed the red button.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
The baby cries when I cut it, but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
What's better than throwing dead babes?
Catching them after with a pitchfork.
My therapist said, "Time heals all wounds," so I cut her.
Mr. Beast challenge in Memphis be like: last one to survive the shooting wins 1 million dollars.
If you’re bored, punch an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"
Jesus shows up and says you’ve got to go to church.
You follow him in, and under their breath, it sounds like somebody says, "You steal." You say in your mind, knowing you have before, "I’m sorry." Then somebody coughs, and under their breath, it sounds like they say again, "You steal," so you whisper quietly, "I’m sorry."
...then somebody in German says, "Schieß den Hurensohn!"
A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"
The bartender replied: "A shotgun."
Why couldn't the rape victim run away?
Because she was dead.