Violence

Violence jokes

Eye

What can you give a white person that you can't give to a black person?

A black eye.

Rape

I didn't know I raped her. I thought she wanted me to hurry up.

Glock

When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.

Parent

Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.

Rape

What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.

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  • Memes

    Baby

    What's worse than a pile of dead babies?

    One at the bottom that's still alive.

    What's worse than that?

    It's forced to eat its way out.

    What's even worse than that?

    It comes back for seconds.

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  • Hunter

    Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed.

    The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

    “I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”

    The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

    There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”

    Baby

    Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?

    So you can watch the expression on their face.

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  • Rape

    What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?

    Freeze.

    Rapist

    90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.

    Child

    Did you know penguins can actually fly if thrown hard enough... Just like children.

    Bomb

    I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."

    Rape

    A brunette fought and didn't get raped.

    A blonde thought and did get raped.

    Difference

    What’s the difference between a retard and a zombie? Nothing much, they both dribble, moan, are hungry, walk weirdly, and it takes a bullet in the head to put them both down.

    Baby

    What's red and screams when you shake it?

    A skinned baby in a bag of salt.

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