Violence

Violence jokes

Friend

9 views ·

One day I went to my friend's apartment, and he told me to make myself at home.

I threw him out of the window. I hate having visitors!

Baldness

6 views ·

I looked at you, and you were bald until I got slapped up by Will Smith to the back of your head and saw the Great Wall of China.

Rape

1,176 views ·

Q: What's the difference between rape and marriage?

A: With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman afterwards.

Hairline

2 views ·

Your hairline got pulled back. You look like you've been climbing Chris, and you got smacked up by Will Smith.

School Shooter

105 views ·

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"

Domestic Violence

20 views ·

I do consider Johnny Depp to be a victim of domestic violence.

Just like how I consider a children's hospital run by Michael Jackson and a retirement home run by Harold Shipman to be both safe places to be in.

Wife

1 view ·

There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.

Bloody Mary

14 views ·

How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?

Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.