Video Game jokes

An orphan's favorite Roblox game is Adopt Me.

"If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag."

-- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

If your controller ever dies, remember those people that died on the submersible.

What is a Mexican's favorite move in a video game?

Wall jumping.

Everyone becomes happy when they complete the last stage of the game.

But the cancer patients aren't.

What is the difference between your dad and a video game?

Your dad doesn’t beat you.

What do Call of Duty and Al-Qaeda goals have in common?

You’ve got to get more than one down.

What’s the difference between video games and my dad?

My dad doesn’t beat me.

Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?

Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!

My local hacker contacted me and told me that he hacked my computer.

I responded, “Show me proof.” He provided the username and password for my email account, bank account, video game accounts, and social media accounts. To be honest, that is the fastest “Forgot Password” procedure I’ve ever done.

Bully: You are ugly.

Me: You are so fat, you are the Call of Duty map.

What did the racist CoD player say to yo mama?

132.513.531.332

Why was Stephen Hawking so good at FIFA? He had 99 dribble.

A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”

“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.

“Let me start,” says the son.

“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.

“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.

“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.

“Your right!” He replies.

“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”

“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.

“The lie is the second on,” says the dad.

Why did Technoblade die?

He couldn't respawn in real life!

Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA?

Because they're not wanted.

Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can't defeat cancer!

Why do orphans play GTA?

To make them feel wanted.

A kid tell me he was gonna f**k my mom on Fortnite! So I told him I was gonna double pump his mom until she was wet like moisty meyers.

Like if you're not a gay.

Dislike if you're furry.

Repost if you HATE blacks.

Comment for VBUCKS.

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I have two eyes and am afraid of sex.

A Fortnite player.