Versus jokes
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
How come I have a father but not a dad?
He was a priest.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower? One of them gets picked.
A leaf and an emo fall from a tree, who hits the ground first?
The leaf, the rope stopped the emo.
Hey guys, thank you for finding this. Vote in the thumbs up or thumbs down whether you prefer Reese’s cups or Starbursts, and comment if you have a different preference! I would like to know a little about people! Thanks, Izzy.
What’s the difference between a chromosome and a hormone?
You can hear a hormone.
Iran: We can beat the USA.
Japan is typing...
There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength.
News began to circulate of a Russian wrestler who was fierce and unstoppable. As each wrestler's legends grew, a match was set up between the two, America versus Russia. The match would be held in Texas.
John began training immediately. Every day his coach would tell him, “This Russian has a move called the Mongolian Death Grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian Death Grip. DO NOT let him get you in the Mongolian Death Grip.”
The day of the match finally came. Just before each wrestler stepped onto the mat in front of the capacity crowd, the coach once again said, “Whatever you do, do not let him get you in the Mongolian death grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian death grip.”
Four seconds into the match, the Russian had the American in the Mongolian death grip. The coach buried his face into his hands and cursed John for not listening to his advice. All of the sudden he heard the crowd irrupt in a chant of USA USA USA. He looked up and saw the Russian pinned by John. The coach ran out to meet John and embarrassingly told him, “I didn’t see... Once he had you in the Mongolian Death Grip I looked away. How in the world did you get out of the Mongolian death grip?”
With heavy breath, John told him, “Well coach, that Russian grabbed me and twisted my body in ways I never imagined possible. I was wincing in pain when I open my eyes and right in front of me were two testicles. So I bit them.”
“What???” Said the coach... “John I don’t think that is legal. You could be disqualified.”
“I don’t know about that coach. But I can tell you one thing. You ain’t got no idea how strong you are until you bite your own balls.”
What's the difference between a woman and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What's the difference between your mom and a troll?
Nothing, they both look the same.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be 10 babies in one trashcan. Morbid humor would be one baby in ten trashcans.
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme, but you can hear a hormone.
WARNING OFFENSIVE: What is the difference between a redhead and a brick? ... A brick gets laid.
Why did the octopus 🐙 beat the shark in a fight?
Because he was well armed!
What’s the difference between a child and a suicider?
One stays quiet forever...
You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."
What’s the difference between 69 and High School?
In 69 you usually only kiss one c*nt and look at one a**hole.
What's the difference between my dad and Nemo?
I don't know. I still haven't found them.
What's the difference between kids and drugs? I don't sell drugs.
What's the difference between a bay and an onion?
I cry when I cut into an onion.