Vehicle jokes
What did the car say when it crashed? That's wheely unfortunate!
How do you know you're following a DeLorean? The white line disappears.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a shit? I wanna know how it got the car started!
Q: Why did Sally survive the car accident?
A: She hit an ambulance.
One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
How did a man kill his car? He throttled it.
What is the same with a duck and a bicycle? The handlebars--oh, except for the duck.
What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette?
I don’t have a Corvette in my garage.
What part of the train goes "toot toot"?
The caboose.
Why do y’all call a pickup truck?
'Cause ya got a flat tire.
How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.
What's the difference between a pile of 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
A Mustang Challenger doesn't exist.
What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.
One day a man was fixing a car, and he accidentally got brake oil in his mouth. He was about to spit it out, but then he thought, "Hmm, this tastes pretty good!" So he would keep drinking brake oil. But his friends were getting worried about him, and they were like, "Dude, this can't be healthy." But he said, "Don't worry. I can STOP anytime."
A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.
How does a blonde turn off the light after having sex?
She opens the car door.
What's the difference between a fish and a car?
You can tune a car... but you can't TUNA fish! x3
When is a car not a car?
When it's a house.
What car do elves drive?
Toy-yodas.
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP