Do your buses run on time?
No, they run on diesel.
Cindy goes up to her dad and says: "Daddy, can I have $100 for a new dress?"
Her dad almost gags and says: "$100! You're only 12, what do you want with such an expensive dress?"
Cindy says: "Well daddy, I'll look really pretty in it and I promise to look after it ..."
Dad gives in and says: "OK, give me a head-job then".
He flops it out and Cindy just get the end in her mouth and goes: "Eeee-yooo - that taste's like shit!"
Dad goes: "Well, your brother wanted to borrow the car this afternoon ..."
Why did Sally decide to fly to school?
She couldn't drive.
Your mum is so fat, she gets hit by a parked car!
What bounces up and down at 100 miles per hour?
A baby tied to the back of a pick up truck.
I had a dream about a car, and I woke up exhausted.
What’s green and has wheels?
Grass, I lied about the wheels.
Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.
A Ford?
How does a blonde turn the light off after sex?
She closes the car door.
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired.
Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?
Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.
Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?
Why did Joey drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)
What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
Why did the bike fall over?
'Cause it was wheely tired.
What is the skeleton's favorite car?
A Zam-bone-y.
What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?
Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.
Why couldn’t the bike stand up?
Because it was “two tired”!
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
