Vehicle jokes
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
What did one traffic light say to the other?
"Stop looking, I am changing."
What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
What is the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage. :)
What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.
What's the difference between a red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a red Ferrari in my car.
Why couldn't the bicycle stand? It was two tired...
Mosely in a white van.
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired.
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.
When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway. 🥁
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.
A cop stopped a guy for speeding.
He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
"I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied.
The cop said, "But there is no traffic."
And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."
I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.
Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, "Wow, that's got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site."
A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving. The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says, "Holy shit, you're so drunk, you can't even walk!"
The drunk says, "No shit, that's why I took my car!"
Yo mama so fat, you must refuel twice to run over her with a car.