Vehicle jokes
How does a blonde turn the light off after sex?
She closes the car door.
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired.
Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?
Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.
Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?
Why did Joey drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)
What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
Why did the bike fall over?
'Cause it was wheely tired.
What is the skeleton's favorite car?
A Zam-bone-y.
What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?
Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.
Why couldn’t the bike stand up?
Because it was “two tired”!
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
What do you call a drivable Hamburger?
What?
A Hamborgini.
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
In about ten days, Stephen Hawking's wheelchair is going to have its first and last service.
What’s a peedophile’s favorite shoes? White vans.
What's grey and can't fly?
A parking lot.
My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!