Guy 1: What's your favorite vegetable?
Guy 2: Stephen Hawking.
Vegetable Jokes
Even a psychopath is sympathetic when an onion self-harms!
Did you hear about the race of the tomato and lettuce? Well, the lettuce was winning and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
So I was walking in a store, and a carrot and a lettuce said, "Lettuce leaf!" to me.
I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.
Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?
A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.
Why did the vegetable cross the road? He didn't, he just sat there.
Why couldn't the carrot go to his friend's house?
Because he was grounded.
So I heard Kenny's mom got moved to a nursing home.
He'll probably leave her alone now.
He doesn't eat vegetables.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite snack?
Vegetables.
What did the doctor say to the potato?
It told it it had tuberculosis.
So, is a homosexual in a coma a fruit or a vegetable?
I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics, and she said I had to eat more vegetables.
John saw a Gay in a wheelchair.
"I didn't know a man could be a fruit and a Vegetable!"
If you’re forced to have it as a child, you won’t like it as an adult.
I guess Hitler was forced to have vegetables when he was younger.
What’s Brock from Pokemon's favorite food?
Brockoli.
What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?
Time to beet your maker.
What do you call a retarded cow?
Vegan (vegetable).
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet?
Beets stain your teeth.
