Vegetable jokes
Spinach
There is a similarity between my wallet and an onion.
They always make me cry.
What do tomatoes 🍅 do when they meet?
They ketchup.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂
Why did the boy put the potatoes 🥔 on the kitchen floor?
He wanted to mash potatoes!
What do you call a baby potato?
Small fry!
🧀: C’mon tomato!
🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.
🧀: You’re a mile away.
🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.
What did the sweet potato say to the potato when he was told to hurry?
I yam.
What did the potato say when the sweet potato told it to hurry?
I yam.
What’s the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you put the cucumber 🥒
What's big, round, and can't move?
A vegetable!
How are peppers 🌶 so nosey?
They get jalapeño business.
What's the difference between broccoli and a booger?
Kids won't eat broccoli.
Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeno.
I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.
He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.
What's the best part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.
A missionary was caught by cannibals. He was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, "You can't stew me. I'm a friar."