Vegetable jokes
What has two wheels and goes really fast?
A vegetable down a hill.
You look like the 0.01 percent of germs the Lysol didn't kill.
What is an orange cucumber?
A carrot, duh!
What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What does a nosey pepper do?
It gets jalapeño business!
Caesar salad, Jack and Jill, little Johnny Koala,
Zebra, monkey, vegetables, bus, baa, bus.
My mum's a carrot.
What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.
I cried while my parents were cutting onions... onions was such a good dog.
A cannibal went to the dietitian, and he got told to eat more vegetables, so he ate a disabled person.
I like my vegetables like I like my women: forgotten at the bottom of my freezer.
What’s the similarity between peas from Tesco and emos?
They both have barcodes.
What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both carry vegetables.
Daikon legs.
What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce field?
Seizure salad.
I cried when my dad cut onions.
Onions was a good dog.
Q: What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?
A: AIDS.
I was chopping onions with my brothers, so my little sisters cried. Onions was a good dog.
I don’t call it special ED, I call it mixed vegetables.
What do you call it when you light a person in a wheelchair on fire?
Cooking the vegetables.