Vegetable jokes
What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.
I cried while my parents were cutting onions... onions was such a good dog.
A cannibal went to the dietitian, and he got told to eat more vegetables, so he ate a disabled person.
I like my vegetables like I like my women: forgotten at the bottom of my freezer.
What’s the similarity between peas from Tesco and emos?
They both have barcodes.
What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both carry vegetables.
Daikon legs.
What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce field?
Seizure salad.
I cried when my dad cut onions.
Onions was a good dog.
Q: What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?
A: AIDS.
I was chopping onions with my brothers, so my little sisters cried. Onions was a good dog.
I don’t call it special ED, I call it mixed vegetables.
What do you call it when you light a person in a wheelchair on fire?
Cooking the vegetables.
What does a nosy pepper do? Gets JALAPEÑO BUSINESS!
What’s a cannibal’s favorite food? A vegetable.
It looks like a runner bean, only smaller.
From the makers of Mangeone...
How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
The wheelchair rises to the top.
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.
I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.
Why do special ed classes have fans?
To keep the vegetables nice and fresh.