Vegetable jokes
What do you call an environmentally conscious Mexican?
A green bean.
What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.
What do you call a disabled orphan?
A left over vegetables.
What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?
VEGETABLE OIL!
What the can say to the tomato?
Tomato tomato potato potato find twelve recipe for the both 👍🏾
I put on ingredient sticker read for tasting good.
How many potatoes to feed the elephant?
My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?
What does Can do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
What did the rapper say to the vegetable?
"Lettuce DROP some BEATS!"
If Slade were a vegetable, he’d be a BRUSSELS SPROUT... small, bitter, and NOBODY wants him at the table.
Why did the rapper visit the farm?
To drop some FRESH BEETS!
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
Why don't nurses like giving old people baths or showers?
Because they don't want their vegetables to get soggy.
A blind man went to a restaurant.
"Menu sir?" asked the owner. "I'm blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks, I will smell it and order." The confused owner went to the kitchen to retrieve a fork and returned to the blind man.
The blind man smelled the fork with a deep breath, "Yes I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring vegetables." Unbelievable, thought the owner. The blind man ate and left. Two weeks later the blind man returned. The owner, wanting to know how good his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Brenda was cooking and said, "Do me a favor and rub this fork over your private part" which she did. He then goes to the blind man and gives him the fork. The blind man takes it and puts it to his nose and says, "Oh interesting! I never knew Brenda works here!"
Why can't there be a gay disabled person?
Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.
What’s the hardest part about making vegetable soup?
To put the wheelchair in the pot.