Vegetable jokes
What is the difference between onions and my dead grandma?
I cried when I cut up the onions.
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
Have you ever wondered why you never see a gay guy in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to become a vegetable when you’re already a fruit.
What do you get when you cross a dick and a potato?
A dictator.
I cried when my mom started to cut up onions... onions was a good dog.
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
What do you call a gay retard? Fruit and vegetable soup.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cabbage.
Cabbage who?
Cabbage doesn’t have a last name.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Broccoli.
Broccoli who?
Broccoli hasn’t got a surname!
What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?
Dry Vegetable.
Q) What’s the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
A) About 400 calories.
What do you call a donkey and a potato?
Assround
I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.
Guess who likes vegetables now?
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.
What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?
cornhub.com
What is big and long and hard?
A cucumber!
What’s the difference between broccoli and little girls?
I don’t like the taste of broccoli.
Why don’t cannibal kids eat people with Down Syndrome? Because kids don’t like vegetables.