What is the favorite drink of a vampire? bloody mary
Mommy mommy! Are we Vampires? Shut up and drink your soup before it clots.
me: *stabs vampire*
wife: omg
me: *beats vampire to death*
wife: OMG
me: what
wife: ur supposed to give them candy
me: well thats a sticky situation now isnt it barbara
The vampire was kept awake all night because of his wife's coughin' (coffin...coughin'...get it?)
How do you know a vampire's sick?
If he's coffin (coughing?)
3 vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks “a Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea”
What is a vampire's favourite animal? A giraffe.
What is a vampire's favourite fruit? Neck-tarines.
Those two jokes are not funny at all!
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgent coming in tomorrow im super excited to work with him the next day we had to do our first ever open hart surgery so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient so we finished the surgery and went out side for a smoke and we were talking I said why did you keep the patients blood on your glove? He replied we in my free time I test it for anything diseases HIV the next day I got invited to his house and we had some drinks I said this is amazing red tea what is in it just the 2000 people you have cut opened .
What's common in vampires and American kids ?
They both don't get old .
What did the lesbian vampire say to the heterosexual woman after she was done licking her pussy after she was done having her blood period? I will be back next month
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
Why do vampires Are always sick because they are coffin
why cant vampires tell jokes right? all their jokes just SUCK
why did the vampire go to the doctors? because of his coff'in.
Why do Vampires like virgins? Because eating a sandwich would be so much more appealing knowing no one fucked it.
I aced my poker test...
my teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...
A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffee-n...
do you get my puns... no, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...
