The vampire was kept awake all night because of his wife's coughin' (coffin...coughin'...get it?)
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgent coming in tomorrow im super excited to work with him the next day we had to do our first ever open hart surgery so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient so we finished the surgery and went out side for a smoke and we were talking I said why did you keep the patients blood on your glove? He replied we in my free time I test it for anything diseases HIV the next day I got invited to his house and we had some drinks I said this is amazing red tea what is in it just the 2000 people you have cut opened .
why did the bat cross the road because to get blood bar
Why did the Vampire put his son up for adoption? He thought his son sucked.
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first bite <3
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
Why do vampires Are always sick because they are coffin
Se this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I be the first person to say drinks are on me
What is the favorite drink of a vampire? bloody mary
why did the vampire go to the doctors? because of his coff'in.
why cant vampires tell jokes right? all their jokes just SUCK
Why do Vampires like virgins? Because eating a sandwich would be so much more appealing knowing no one fucked it.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I aced my poker test...
my teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...
A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffee-n...
do you get my puns... no, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...
Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.
How do you know a vampire's sick?
If he's coffin (coughing?)
What is a vampire's favourite animal? A giraffe.
What is a vampire's favourite fruit? Neck-tarines.
Those two jokes are not funny at all!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why do vampires drink blood? because they can't drink bloodly Marys because they are vampires
