My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgent coming in tomorrow im super excited to work with him the next day we had to do our first ever open hart surgery so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient so we finished the surgery and went out side for a smoke and we were talking I said why did you keep the patients blood on your glove? He replied we in my free time I test it for anything diseases HIV the next day I got invited to his house and we had some drinks I said this is amazing red tea what is in it just the 2000 people you have cut opened .
Se this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I be the first person to say drinks are on me
What's common in vampires and American kids ?
They both don't get old .
what do you get when you crossa vapire wit a teacher?/ lotsa blood test
Why do vampires Are always sick because they are coffin
What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire? One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.
Halloween joke:
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
A blood test
Me: *stabs vampire*
Wife: omg
Me: *beats vampire to death*
Wife: OMG
Me: What?
Wife: You're supposed to give them candy!
Me: Well, that's a sticky situation now, isn't it, Barbara?
Why did the Vampire put his son up for adoption? He thought his son sucked.
A Vampire goes to the Bakery:
Vampire🧛♂️: „One Bun please.“
Bäcker👩🍳: „But you're Vampire, don't you need blood 🩸 ?“
Vampir🧛♂️: „Yes, there is an accident outside and i need something to dip“
Mommy mommy! Are we Vampires? Shut up and drink your soup before it clots.
Whats a cannibal's favourite drink? A Bloody mary
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.
Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.
I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.
Why do Vampires like virgins? Because eating a sandwich would be so much more appealing knowing no one fucked it.
What flies around the school in night? Alpha-bats!
I tried to get my bloood sucked by a vampire, but he said I was too empty inside
Q:how can you tell if a vampire is sick
A:By how much hes coffin
