United States jokes
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C U M
JFK is definitely a bottom.
What do you call the United States of America under a Joe Biden presidency?
Answer: The Democratic People’s Socialist States of America. We're still America, just a different kind of America. And that’s no joke. 😔
There are three states you don't mess with when trying to take over the United States:
Alaska because they have three times more guns than people because of the bears.
Texas because, well, it's Texas. Where else have all of the guns been going?
Lastly, Florida. Florida is the absolute definition of Trigger Happy Redneck.
How did the United States become a country? It broke all of its states.
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.
The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.
You know that you f**k better than dad?
I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
They lost 2 towers.
Yo forehead is so big it couldn't even fit in the United States.
Q: What do you call America in a year? A: A wasteland.
Biden is a joke. Trump is AMAZINGLY AWESOME!
How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.
If Trump pooped in a toilet, the toilet would die.
Wonder why the British are so good at chess? They have the queen.
Wonder why Americans are so bad at chess? They lost two towers.
Trump said: "Let's make America great again."
Translation by Democrats:
"Let's fake America again."
When are you from Kansas? You know!!! 🐌
When are you from Delaware? You know!!! 📦
What’s an abbreviation for school in America?
Shooting range.
Jokes just as dead as the victims.
What did the left butt cheek say to the right?
"Trump 2020."
I was 11 or 12 at the time.
Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...
If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.