Washington DC jokes

If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house?

In Washington D.C.

Where did George go?

Washington, D.C.

What does a crooked lawyer who is not on the ACLU payroll have in common with a crooked politician who has an office in Washington, DC?

They both sign their names using a blue pen 🖊 🖊.

So, Biden, Zelensky, and Putin are on a plane, and the plane loses altitude and goes down, but there are 2 parachutes. Putin takes the first one and jumps because he is a greedy twat. So he jumps, but then Biden says, "You go, Zelensky. I am much older than you, and it is ok for me to die." So Zelensky takes the second one and jumps, but when he did, the plane regains altitude, and Biden got to Washington, DC, all fine. They found out the reason was Zelensky's steel balls.

Sometimes you just need to take a drive through the city to clear your head.

-JFK

Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?

Because he was about to kick the cabinet.

Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do?

A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!

Did you ever think that John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head?

JFK was one of the most open-minded presidents. It really blows my mind how great he was.