United States jokes
Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.
What’s an abbreviation for school in America?
Shooting range.
Jokes just as dead as the victims.
What is the difference between the President of Ukraine and the President of the United States?
The President of Ukraine is a comedian, and the President of the United States is a joke!
What's Al Qaeda's favorite football team?
New York Jets.
Wonder why the British are so good at chess? They have the queen.
Wonder why Americans are so bad at chess? They lost two towers.
If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? -- America.
Roses are red, potato chips are savory...
The United States prison system is legalized slavery.
When was the first Black Friday?
1619.
Why are Americans so good at solving Rubik’s cubes?
Because they have a history of separating colors.
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
They lost 2 towers.
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
What do you call an angry Texan?
A Confederate leader.
Cheap oil, no immigration, and no school shootings.
Corona did what Trump promised.
I was 11 or 12 at the time.
Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...
If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.
James Last, the king of the LP bargain bin, died a Florida Man.
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.
America.
Here's how to piss off all of North America.
All the United States is, is South Canadia.
What is white with red all over?...
JFK.
JFK did a good job spreading around on his final speech.