United States

United States Jokes

What is the difference between the President of Ukraine and the President of the United States?

The President of Ukraine is a comedian, and the President of the United States is a joke!

I was 11 or 12 at the time.

Guy (passing me): How are you doing? Me, an autist: Pretty bad honestly. Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...

If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.

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The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971 and the Libertarian Party has lost every presidential election since 1972, and according to the Libertarian Party the Libertarian Party is the only political party in the United States that is the party of principle, If the Libertarian Party is the party of principle then why hasn't the Libertarian Party won a presidential election since 1972? Because it is politically motivated 👏 🙌 👍👍👌👌 🤔 💭 💡 🫢 😲 😭 😠 😡 🤬

How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the united states James Earl Carter? read the label on the jar of skippy peanut butter

Scoucer at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer by what time is it mate? American replys thats a mad accent were are you from ? Scoucer says liverpool american oh what state is that in? Scoucer looks around and says about the same state as this mate but what time is it?

a man dies and goes to heaven he sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for, he replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. he said that mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincon's once, and George Washington's never. the man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Bidden's is the one keeping the hurricane's to speed

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Hillary Clinton is elected president, . . .

and on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."

She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that." The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."

She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."

On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."

What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?

Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles ' N Bits!!

Why is it that the Libertarian Party never had a formal president of the united states that ran as a Libertarian that had a presidential library? Because the Libertarian Party is the party of principle, the Libertarian Party was founded in 1971 and the Libertarian Party has not won a presidential election since 1972, because the Libertarian Party doesn't believe in using force to achieved political and social goals

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