Uncle jokes

One day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. She picks it up.

"Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby?"

Sally says, "No, she's upstairs with Uncle John."

"Uncle John? I don't know an Uncle John."

"No, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy."

"No, I'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family."

"Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally.

"Ummm, no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now."

"Okay daddy!"

*long pause*

"Okay daddy! I did it!"

"Great job Sally! What did she say?"

"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. She's now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."

Then dad replies "Swimming pool? We don't have a... is this 468-1843?"

My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.

So all his friends came in one car.

I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me.

"Let go of my nose!"

My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.

Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.

When your uncle drops a nickel, but the only thing he really drops is his pants.

Billy got a bike and a soccer ball for his birthday from his uncle, but he was very upset. Why? Because he has no legs.

Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse. Will you help Jack off a horse?

When you send nudes to your Roblox gf and your uncle’s phone sounds with a text tone...

Come on guys, this is nasty, he was my uncle, ffs :(

Is it just me, or when you wipe your ass too deep, it reminds you of your uncle? Just me?