My uncle and I have some what of an awkward relationship. At times I find him a bit hard to swallow.
what did the police say to the ice cream frezee
my uncle was a preist he had a two-inch penis but when it was in my ass it felt like a torpedo
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " fucking, fuck,fuck,Fuck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen fucking the turkey.
Stephen Hawking is to wheel chairs like Uncle Ben is to rice.
Little Johnny: Dad, why are you rubbing the horse's chest and butt? Dad: I want to see if it's good enough to buy. Little Johnny: I think Uncle Joe wants to buy Mom.
my uncle died in 9/11 he was in the plane that crashed in the feild
High school crush: why do you always look so sad? Me: my mom is dead and my favorite grandma and my uncle killed both of them and now he's in jail. High school crush: shit. Sorry about that. Me: and my crush hasent asked me out. High school crush: who is it Me: you Him: goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back) Me: fuck that
Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, “mommy mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy’s clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started...”. The mother cuts him off and says “just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.” Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting “I’m leaving you... Go ahead Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier.” Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. “Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle joe last summer.”
My mother was so sad after my grandpa's death, she went into the bathroom with my uncle, and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on, saying that she was pregnant.
Have you watched the the show Naked and Afraid? Well, I play it every Saturday with my uncle.
have you seen my uncle. Jesus:i have God:me too
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle? my girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
I have an Uncle named ricky, who made ur mom sticky, His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky
Famous last words of my uncle: (a bomb disposal expert) yes the red wire
What does my uncle call a school?
A strip club
Whats the difference between my ass and the todlers in my uncles basement
My ass dosent cry when he stickes it in late at night
My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
I had an uncle who was a conductor. He wasn’t a symphony conductor, nor was he a street car conductor, nor was he a train conductor. He was struck by lightning.
