Two jokes
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.
Now I can’t get it to shut up.
Two friends were walking in a forest. They started to fight.
A cannibal came and shouted, "Food fight!"
What are two plus sides to being an orphan?
1. All your snacks are family sized.
2. No one can make jokes about your mama.
I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly, there were also two towers included in the box as well.
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.
Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.
He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.
What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."
Did you know that in 2001 there was an Among Us game, except that it was on a plane and had two imposters.
1+1? Too hard.
A farm full of cows were bombed, and only two survived. All of the udders died.
What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?
An Oreo.
Why did two fours skip lunch? They already ate.
Two cunts are better than one, but one cunt is better than none.
If two blind people meet, one of them says: "Long time, no see!"
A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students. She was charged with "interpreting" a black police officer.
Why are people from New York so bad at chess?
Because they quickly lose two towers (rooks).
If your corona test shows two lines, is that then positive or negative?
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.
Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?
A: HeHe.