Two jokes

I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly, there were also two towers included in the box as well.

Did you know that in 2001 there was an Among Us game, except that it was on a plane and had two imposters.

I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.

Now I can’t get it to shut up.

What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?

An Oreo.

Two friends were walking in a forest. They started to fight.

A cannibal came and shouted, "Food fight!"

Why did two fours skip lunch? They already ate.

Two cunts are better than one, but one cunt is better than none.

If your corona test shows two lines, is that then positive or negative?

What do you call two natives in a sleeping bag?

Twix.

Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"

The terrorists both say, "A beer."

The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"

One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"

There are Three Sons: Journey, Korean, and Little Joe. They were trapped on a floating island, and a priest gave them each one wish.

The first son wished to go back to the ground. The Second Son wished to go back to the ground. The third son was lonely and wished for his two brothers to come back to the floating island.

Two guys watching a war movie at a bar are talking. One says to the other, "The Nazis starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war."

The other says, "My dad died in a camp as well... he broke his neck."

First guy says, "How did he break his neck?"

Second guy says, "He fell out of the guard tower."

Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.

The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.

"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.

The driver leans over to the other priest, and they whisper between themselves.

Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."

I have big balls, said the kid holding two soccer balls.

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

Why are Americans so bad at Chess?

They're missing two towers.

Why did the blonde chick buy two Plan B pills?

She wanted to be for sure for sure!

Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?

Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.

What do you call two redheads on Mars?

Locals.

Me: So you two girls are from England?

Girls: Wales.

Me: Oh, I see, so you two whales are from England.