Two wrongs don't make a right, but what do two Wrights make?
The first airplane.
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain. "Quick, let's swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!"
Two pedophiles are on a beach.
One says to the other, "Move over, you're in my sun!"
Once there were these two fruitcakes driving in their Pink Porsche. "Oh, this handles so well!" they exclaimed.
Then this Mack truck came around the corner at their stop sign and rear-ended them. The passenger said to his partner, "You tell that man he's gonna pay every single cent 'cause we're going to sue him!"
So the flamer gets out and swishes to tell the trucker to do that very thing. The trucker was a tough who said, "What do you want, wimp?" The gay said, "You just hit our new Pink Porsche, and we're gonna make you pay every single cent 'cause we're gonna sue you!"
The trucker said, "Oh yeah? Blow me!" The gay driver went "Ohhh!" and ran back. The gay partner asked him, "What did he say?" His fruitcake driver said, "Ohhh! It's wonderful, he wants to settle out of court!"
Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks...
Two gay guys are in a burning building, who gets out first? The one on the top or the bottom?
The bottom because his sh*t's already packed.
I hate two-faced people because I don't know which face to slap first.
What do you call a Twinkie with two pairs of pants?
Double trousers.
What do you call two Mexicans having sex? 50 Shades of Brown.
What did the Nazi order from Wendy's?
Two number NEINs.
There were three men, and two of them died.
The last man alive said, "That's two less mouths to feed!"
Two pedophiles meet each other. Then one asks if he wanted to trade "2 of 5" for "1 of 10?"
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
Why couldn't the bicycle stand? It was two tired...
Two fish walked into a wall. One said to the other, "Dam!"
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
Two pedophiles talking to each other:
"Do you got two fives for one ten?"
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on juan.
The doctor told me I was so retarded, I was required to ride two wheelchairs.
Why was three afraid of two? Because he killed everyone!
