TV Jokes

do you know what the equivalent to hell is theses days 1. listening to your teacher 2. not haveing your phone/ game / tv 3. not haveing niccotine

A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says"I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?" Man,"Sorry i thought it was the start of Eastenders"

Walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by him self and he looked like he needed a hand so i offered to help, he said this is not a big screen TV its a Kindle!!

What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV in common?

Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.

What show do orphans hate? American Dad

So I was watching tv right? then i f..ing got banged in the eye with either a remore or metal tongs "wtf"

I asked this disabled kid what his favorite TV show is. He looked at me blankly and said "My favorite TV show is Vegetales"

Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?

I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...

Last night I was watching a Scotland Christmas movie... And the part when Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, Joseph was surprised and he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!!!". I immediately stopped watching changed the channel

Why don't orphan's watch tv..?

Because of family guy

I just watched a prog am about beavers. It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.😂😂😂

Trying to make jokes in 2020- 2021 be like:

Comedian : When she went infront of the tv it took an hour till you can see the screen again.

Adiance : Why you gotta be so offensive

Comedian : Im not tr-

Aidiance : Oh so now your trying to debate?

Comedian : I-

Adiance : Now your acting racist?!

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blonde walks in i want to buy that tv. seller:i dont sell to blondes. comes back the next day with brown hair. i want to buy that tv. seller:i dont sell to blondes. comes back the next day with brown hair. i want to buy that tv. seller:i dont sell to blondes. thats it howd you know i was a blonde seller: because thats a microwave

Yo mama so fat, when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes.

Here are a few:

While I was out shopping i tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me, for fun I said "Sorry! It's been awhile since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.

Dads are like boomerangs. . . I hope!

Son: Dad why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.

You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.

Why is Ronan's forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead it also had rings

Why is Jupiter's ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan's forehead kept it stuck in orbit

Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy

I watched the series of unfortanet events 4 times all the shows 4 times, : me -crying - I am trying to finish the rest then my brother comes in and says it is PG, ( parent guidens) after that.... My brother called me a bAby then he pushed me off my bed.😭

one day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy then they heard a sound from the bushes, instead of looking down they both ran.

two years later they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial they asked him if he has ever been caught he said "No but a couple was walking as soon as i killed a girl i jumped into a bush they didnt know i was there but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down then he and his girlfriend ran."