TV jokes

I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.

There was a man who had just moved from a foreign country. He just moved into his apartment and was watching his favorite TV shows. The first one was "me-me-me, me-me-me, me-me-me-me-me-me-me," the second one was "forks and knives, forks and knives, all I use is forks and knives," and the last one was "BRING IT ON, FAT MAN!!"

There had been a murder in the area, and the man was walking in the park when a cop showed up and asked him, "Sir, have you seen this man?" and held up a photo. The man said "me-me-me, me-me-me, me-me-me-me-me-me-me." The cop said, "Sir, what did you use?" and the man said "forks and knives, forks and knives, all I use is forks and knives." After that, the cop said, "Sir, I'm going to have to arrest you," and the man said "BRING IT ON, FAT MAN!!" The screen goes black, and all you can here "chk-chk. BANG"

I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well." My brother said, "You want a sugar cookie?"

What do you get when you cross a fat christian nationalist that is heteroflexable, a christian nationalist politician who is also a born again christian, a conservative republican that has a small penis, and a tv evangelist on steroids?

Why don't orphans watch TV?

Because of "Family Guy."

I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen!

What is an orphan's favorite TV show?

"Alone."

Yo mama is so ugly that when she turned on the TV, it changed channels by itself.

Your head so big you can wash a big TV on it!

It insists upon itself, Lois, it insists upon itself.

Hey girl, is that an ass seen on TV, 'cause I'd buy it.

Why do people hate Velma now?

Because she joined the Dark Side.

While I was waiting for your mum to waddle past, I missed a whole season of my TV show!

My orphan terrorist friend is on TV... I think he blew up.

Do they say you are what you eat?

That makes Bulma a VEGETARIAN if u know what I'm SAIYAN.

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

What award does the Demogorgon get? A Emmygorgon.

So Jessie Waters goes on TV without a gallon of hair gel. Oh wait, never mind!

went (DYM 134).

Yo mama's so fat, when she walked by the TV when I was watching a show, I waited, and when she finally passed by, Netflix said suggestions: Hulu, and Peacock.