TV jokes

My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.

What was JFK's favorite school TV show?

BrainPop.

As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.

Your forehead is so big I could use it to get free TV.

Pokemon: What’s Wailmer’s favorite TV show?

Whale of Fortune.

Yo mama is so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches sofa.

What’s faster than a black guy with the TV?

His little brother with the console.

Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.

TV: Water found on Mars...

Mars: 1

Africa: 0

My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying, "This isn't working!" I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine.

So, a kid is taking a test, and the paper says, "In a pink bungalow, there's a pink fridge, a pink bed, a pink TV, and a pink cat. What color are the stairs?"

So the kid answers pink, like the idiot he is.

One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.

His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.

The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.

The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"

Why did Billy kill himself with a TV remote?

He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.

I got my blind friend a TV... He never uses it.

Your mouth looks like it came from the commercials.

I told my friend to watch Naruto. It's been a week since I've seen him. Hope he comes back in one piece.

TV Darth Vader: "I'm your father!"

Orphans: "Yea."

Do you know what the equivalent to hell is these days?

1. Listening to your teacher.

2. Not having your phone/game/TV.

3. Not having nicotine.

What did the police say on the TV during 9/11?

"Call 911!"

I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."

My brother said, "You want a cookie?"