TV Jokes

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What’s faster than a black guy with the TV? His little brother with the Console

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying "This isn't working". I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine

Why did billy kill himself with a tv remote? He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.

your mouth looks like it came from the commercials

i got my blind friend a tv.. he never uses it

TV Darth Vader :I'm your father

Orphans: yea

What did the police say on the tv during 9/11... Call 911

do you know what the equivalent to hell is theses days 1. listening to your teacher 2. not haveing your phone/ game / tv 3. not haveing niccotine

A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says"I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?" Man,"Sorry i thought it was the start of Eastenders"

Walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by him self and he looked like he needed a hand so i offered to help, he said this is not a big screen TV its a Kindle!!

Little Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher said, "okay everyone, Tomorrow you must come to school and recite the first three letters of the alphabet". Johnny didn't know the alphabet so he decided to ask his family. He walked in the kitchen to find his mom on the phone. He says, "Mamma, what's the first letter of the alphabet?" His mom doesn't notice him standing there and says, "If you don't shut the fuck up right now-" So he goes to find his brother watching TV and he says, "Tommy what's the Second letter of the alphabet?" His brother doesn't notice him and says, "I'm Batman". So He went to his Grandma who was knitting and says, "Grandma what's the third letter of the Alphabet?" The grandma then realizes she left her biscuits in the oven for too long and says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!" Satisfied with the answers given to him he thinks it over and goes to school the next morning. When his teacher come to Johnny she says, "Johnny what are the first three letters of the alphabet?" "If you don't shut the fuck up right now" - Johnny "Who do you think you are young man to talk to someone like me that way?" - teacher "I'm Batman" - Johnny The teacher whups his ass and little johnny says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!"

Later that day he understands what happened and can't tell which was worse that he accidentally cussed to his teacher or that his family was ignoring him.