Turn jokes
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
In 1492 Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
He sat on a rock, tickled his cock, until it turned red, white, and blue!
I have a better version of this joke.
How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.
"You look like Barney, I'm choking you too, and your face is turning all purple and blue!"
My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.
I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.
Why did the orphan turn gay?
A: Because he wanted someone to call him "daddy."
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"
Your momma is so stupid, she farted and turned the radio on to cover up the smell.
Hi 👋 I love 💕 you know I do. What a good night of a good [something].
How fast is the speed of sex?
68 because at 69 you've got to turn around.
I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.
My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"
So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."
This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.
I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.
We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.
Your lips are so big, it turns the Grand Canyon sideways.
A man and a child walk into the woods. The child turns to the man and says, "Mister, can we go home? It's getting late, and I'm scared to walk home."
The man turns to the child and says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone!"
What do pedophiles do when they wake up?
Turn on the child safety lock on the car.
In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.
What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.