Turn jokes
What did the make-a-wish kid say when the Avengers turn up without Tony Stark?
"We are in the endgame now!"
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out, I'm just a burden.
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
"Aye, matey."
Yo Mama so stupid that when she saw a sign that said, “Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.
I walked into the school for disabled kids and asked them if they knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes." Turns out they only knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Wheels, and Frame."
How fast is the speed of sex?
68 because at 69 you've got to turn around.
Your hairline is so bad that it turned Wonder Woman into Failure Man.
What do the Twin Towers and your siblings have in common?
Once they turn 18, they never come back.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes into a bank, they turn off the cameras.
I thought that kid was walking cool when I had my ears shut. It turns out he was moaning.
When does a dyslexic person know when they've spelt their address wrong?
When it fails to turn up.
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.
Why did the rapper become a teacher?
Because they had a knack for dropping KNOWLEDGE.
What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?
A baby with a javelin in its head!
Yo mama so fat if she turned into food, she could solve world hunger.
What is a nut that does magic?
A human that can turn into a nut!
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
In the French school, four sentences must be written. Fritz heard his mother say, "Close the door!"
Fritz went to his uncle and heard, "Yes, I'll put it there."
Then he came to his brother who said, "They call me Superman, hahaha!"
Finally, his sister looked at a photo and said, "Wow!"
The next day, the teacher said, "Okay, Fritz, it's your turn. Finish eating and take out the trash!" Fritz said, "Close the door!"
The teacher got angry and said, "I want to see the principal." Fritz replied, "Yes, my friend, I am leaving you."
The teacher asked, "I have forgotten your name, what is it?" Fritz said, "I'm Superman! I'm Superman! You're nothing!"
"Who do you think I am?" asked the teacher, who had become very angry. Fritz replied, "Wow!"
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
I was listening to some Drake in class.
My teacher shouted to turn it off. She then exclaimed that "Drake is mid and his music is very Pessi!" I didn’t understand the meaning until I checked the dictionary and realised it is a synonym for overrated.