Tree jokes

What is the difference between a human and a magic dog night?

What do you call a tree?

A treeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

You're so poor not even Dollar Tree has your prices.

Say, Aiden, are you and Gwen dating? Oooo, you and her sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G., then comes the romance, then comes engagement, then comes the wedding, and then the baby! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Then comes cheating and arguments, and then D.I.V.O.R.C.E.!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aiden + Gwen = Husband and wife! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Girlfriend and boyfriend!!!!!!!!

What do dogs do that trees don't do?

Answer: They bark!

badoom ching

What's a tree's least favorite TV show? Chopped!

What is, tyyyyyy a tree is it is the difference between a?

What would a tree do if a depressed kid tried to high five it?

I would leave them hanging.

An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.

What were Paul Walker's last words?

Hey, that tree's growing!

What do ya call a group of emo kids hanging from a tree? Ornaments.

So, there was this kid, and he went to a store and said to a person there, "I'm emo." Then the person told the emo, "Why the hell are you here? Shouldn't you be hanging in a tree somewhere?"

Jefferey Dahmer asked his husband a question.

His husband said, "What's your question?"

Jefferey Dahmer said, "You want to know what is my favorite type of tree?"

His husband said "Yes?"

Jefferey said, "Morning Wood, now take off your pants!"

Do you think the founder of Dunlop was a retired tree surgeon or a hairdresser?

Question: Why can't you trust a tree?

Answer: 'Cause they are always shady.

Rock-a-bye dummy, in the tree top.

When the wind blows, the cradle will rock.

When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall.

Down will come dummy, cradle and all.

If the broccoli said, "I look like a tree," then what did the mushroom say?

"I look like an umbrella."

What is the difference between a human and the human rights act, a tree house, and a human being?

"Emmy and Thomas sitting in a tree."

The chicken is actually a fruit because it is grown on a pole-tree.