Tree jokes

An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.

So, there was this kid, and he went to a store and said to a person there, "I'm emo." Then the person told the emo, "Why the hell are you here? Shouldn't you be hanging in a tree somewhere?"

What would a tree do if a depressed kid tried to high five it?

I would leave them hanging.

Jefferey Dahmer asked his husband a question.

His husband said, "What's your question?"

Jefferey Dahmer said, "You want to know what is my favorite type of tree?"

His husband said "Yes?"

Jefferey said, "Morning Wood, now take off your pants!"

Do you think the founder of Dunlop was a retired tree surgeon or a hairdresser?

What's a tree's least favorite TV show? Chopped!

What do dogs do that trees don't do?

Answer: They bark!

badoom ching

What is, tyyyyyy a tree is it is the difference between a?

Question: Why can't you trust a tree?

Answer: 'Cause they are always shady.

Rock-a-bye dummy, in the tree top.

When the wind blows, the cradle will rock.

When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall.

Down will come dummy, cradle and all.

If the broccoli said, "I look like a tree," then what did the mushroom say?

"I look like an umbrella."

"Emmy and Thomas sitting in a tree."

What is the difference between a human and the human rights act, a tree house, and a human being?

The chicken is actually a fruit because it is grown on a pole-tree.

Once a monkey lived in a jamun tree. His friend, a crocodile, came there to eat jamun everyday. The second day, he ate some jamun and left some for his wife. Soon, his wife said, "Why don't you kill this monkey?"

The crocodile was sad and then asked the monkey to come to his place. The monkey said, "What if I drown?" The crocodile said, "Jump on my back." The monkey jumped on his back. The crocodile soon said, "I am gonna kill you. My wife is sick and wants to eat your heart." The monkey said, "I left my heart on the jamun tree." Then the crocodile swam back to the jamun tree and the monkey jumped on the tree.

I always look at the earth and think, "Ahh, this is TREE-ific!"

What time is it when you get home? Can you walk, walk home? Was your night night? You had fun? I had dinner, night time, and a tree. I had dinner. Is it a magic time? Dinner! I have been home. Was good.

What is black and white and sits in a tree?

A fridge wearing a leather jacket! XD

What is the difference between a human and a magic house?

To the Earth, is the human body of the human being human? Is it human? Human can be the one day today after the night is the snow time and a.

Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead, DUHHHHHHHHHHH!