Tree jokes

What falls from the tree first, the autistic retard or the apple?

The apple, because the rope caught the autistic retard.

What do you call an orphan’s family tree?

A stump.

What's the difference between an umbrella and a tree?

I don't know.

Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"

The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"

One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"

Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.

What do ya call a group of emo kids hanging from a tree? Ornaments.

What is an orphan and an apple?

They get picked.

What is a cowboy’s favorite tree?

A horse chestnut tree.

Who's climbing the tree?..... Not Sarah.

Who is in hospital?.... Sarah.

Why do apple trees like emo kids?

Because they like to play yoyo with them.

What do rednecks find when they research their family tree?

Their INCESTors!

"I love you, you too. I-eeeeeee was the night. Time is it when you you get a typical sleep night. Is oooooooo, is it a walk home was the night night and a tree is it?"

What is a tree that does not exist?

A money tree.

What do you call a tree 🌲 that is magic? A magic tree 🌳.

What do you call a tree?

A treeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

You're so poor not even Dollar Tree has your prices.

What is the difference between a human and a magic dog night?

Say, Aiden, are you and Gwen dating? Oooo, you and her sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G., then comes the romance, then comes engagement, then comes the wedding, and then the baby! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Then comes cheating and arguments, and then D.I.V.O.R.C.E.!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aiden + Gwen = Husband and wife! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Girlfriend and boyfriend!!!!!!!!

What were Paul Walker's last words?

Hey, that tree's growing!