Tree jokes
Two blonde girls find a beautiful Christmas tree in the woods.
After two hours, someone said, "We found a tree without bark!"
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
He was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
He was also dead.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Monkey see, monkey do.
Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?
He was stapled to the first one.
"Emmy and Thomas sitting in a tree."
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde."
The blonde then taped the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
What's white and can't climb a tree?
A refrigerator.
What were Paul Walker's last words?
Hey, that tree's growing!
Who is white, hairy, and rusty in the tree?
It's Rambo Rabbit with a big gun that was.
Kobe ended so many games with threes. Now he ends his life with trees.
What is a cowboy’s favorite tree?
A horse chestnut tree.
Kid: Dad, what is it like to be drunk?
Dad: You see those two trees over there? If you were drunk, you would see four.
Kid: Dad, there is only one tree.
I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.
Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."
Who's climbing the tree?..... Not Sarah.
Who is in hospital?.... Sarah.
Me: "What's the difference between an apple and an emo?"
Friend: "I don't know."
Me: An apple actually falls from the tree.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this one's gonna blow!
What’s the difference between a mushroom and a tree?
One's a fucking tree.
An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.
A genealogist looks at the family tree.
A gynecologist looks up the family bush.
What did the tree say to the kid with a bike? "Take a hike!"
Q: What’s a koala's face song? A: Never gonna give you up BECAUSE it hangs on the tree and the person is the tree?
Ur dad lesbian.
Ur sister a mister.
Ur family tree LGBT.
Ur family reunion a homosexual communion.