Tree jokes
Why did Paul Walker die? Because he crashed a car into a tree.
Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.
A week before Christmas my wife left me. She said I was too selfish and full of myself and she could not take it anymore.
On Christmas Eve, Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "All I want is the one I love more than anyone else in the world."
On Christmas morning I woke up in a box under my Christmas tree.
An emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five... the tree left her hanging.
What's white and can't climb a tree?
A refrigerator.
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.
On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."
So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.
If Donald Trump had sex with an orange, guess what his son would be?
An orange tree! :>
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple has a family tree.
Can I pin your corpse to a tree?
What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?
The apple... the emo just hangs there.
What do you call Tarzan when he swings through the trees backwards?
Nazrat.
Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.
It's not surprising there isn't a whole lot of good tree jokes.
Most foresters have a wooden personality.
What do humans and monkeys have in common? They both hang from trees.
Why did the boy study for his math test in a tree?
'Cause he wanted higher grades.
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck?
If a woodchuck could chuck wood?
As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck,
If a woodchuck could chuck wood.
what do sloths and depressed people have in common? ... they both hang from trees.
What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?
They both hang from a tree!
How did the Apple and the emo fall off the tree at the same time?
Because Paul Walker crashed into it.
Three blonde girls are on an island, and they are much too far away from land to swim. They find a genie on the island who offers them each one wish. The first girl says, "I wish I was smart enough to get off this island!" So the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island.
The next girl says, "I wish I was even smarter than her so I don't have to do so much manual labor!" So she turns into a brunette and makes a sailboat and lets the wind take her off the island.
The final girl says, "I wish I was smarter than both of them!" So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.