Tree jokes
Why did the emo kid try [to] high five the tree?
So it can hang him.
A week before Christmas my wife left me. She said I was too selfish and full of myself and she could not take it anymore.
On Christmas Eve, Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "All I want is the one I love more than anyone else in the world."
On Christmas morning I woke up in a box under my Christmas tree.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
I speak for the trees.
*Trees whisper in my ear*
They said six million wasn't enough.
If a tree could be any animal, what would it be?
Answer: A dog because of its bark lol. 😀
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!
My friend is an amazing hacker. He cut down 23 trees already.
Tuesday, I was looking at my family tree, and two dogs were using it.
Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?
It died before them.
How many people fit in a tree?
I don't know, you tell me.
Your mama so fat, it took all the trees to build her a coffin.
What did a tree say to the tomato?
Nothing! Trees don't talk, silly.
Why doesn't Newton cut trees in vanilla Minecraft? Because he wants Minecraft to be realistic!
Why do orphans die young?
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
What did the fat guy say to the tree?
"Get me some coconuts!"
What is the difference between a leaf falling from a tree and an emo falling from a tree?
The leaf falls to the ground, the emo just hangs there.
If you were to drop an emo and a leaf off a tree, who would hit the ground first?
The leaf, because the emo is always hanging.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
A friend asked what an acorn is.
I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
What's tree plus tree?
Sticks!