Tree jokes
Why did the emo kid try [to] high five the tree?
So it can hang him.
A week before Christmas my wife left me. She said I was too selfish and full of myself and she could not take it anymore.
On Christmas Eve, Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "All I want is the one I love more than anyone else in the world."
On Christmas morning I woke up in a box under my Christmas tree.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
I speak for the trees.
*Trees whisper in my ear*
They said six million wasn't enough.
Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?
It died before them.
Tuesday, I was looking at my family tree, and two dogs were using it.
If a tree could be any animal, what would it be?
Answer: A dog because of its bark lol. 😀
My friend is an amazing hacker. He cut down 23 trees already.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!
Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."
What was the oak tree's response to the apple tree's joke?
You should leaf it alone!
Your mama so fat, it took all the trees to build her a coffin.
How many people fit in a tree?
I don't know, you tell me.
A friend asked what an acorn is.
I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
What did a tree say to the tomato?
Nothing! Trees don't talk, silly.
Can I pin your corpse to a tree?
Why doesn't Newton cut trees in vanilla Minecraft? Because he wants Minecraft to be realistic!
Does money grow on trees? No.
What is money made of? Paper.
What is paper made out of? Trees!
What is the difference between a leaf falling from a tree and an emo falling from a tree?
The leaf falls to the ground, the emo just hangs there.