Tree jokes
Why did the emo kid try [to] high five the tree?
So it can hang him.
A week before Christmas my wife left me. She said I was too selfish and full of myself and she could not take it anymore.
On Christmas Eve, Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "All I want is the one I love more than anyone else in the world."
On Christmas morning I woke up in a box under my Christmas tree.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
I speak for the trees.
*Trees whisper in my ear*
They said six million wasn't enough.
If a tree could be any animal, what would it be?
Answer: A dog because of its bark lol. 😀
Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?
It died before them.
My friend is an amazing hacker. He cut down 23 trees already.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!
Tuesday, I was looking at my family tree, and two dogs were using it.
How many people fit in a tree?
I don't know, you tell me.
Can I pin your corpse to a tree?
Your mama so fat, it took all the trees to build her a coffin.
What did a tree say to the tomato?
Nothing! Trees don't talk, silly.
Why doesn't Newton cut trees in vanilla Minecraft? Because he wants Minecraft to be realistic!
What is the difference between a leaf falling from a tree and an emo falling from a tree?
The leaf falls to the ground, the emo just hangs there.
What did the fat guy say to the tree?
"Get me some coconuts!"
Why are Christmas trees banned at the mental hospital?
They would hang themselves like ornaments.
What's tree plus tree?
Sticks!
When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...
What was the oak tree's response to the apple tree's joke?
You should leaf it alone!