Tree jokes
A week before Christmas my wife left me. She said I was too selfish and full of myself and she could not take it anymore.
On Christmas Eve, Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "All I want is the one I love more than anyone else in the world."
On Christmas morning I woke up in a box under my Christmas tree.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
Does money grow on trees? No.
What is money made of? Paper.
What is paper made out of? Trees!
What did a tree say to the tomato?
Nothing! Trees don't talk, silly.
Can I pin your corpse to a tree?
Memes
Meme:
A friend asked what an acorn is.
I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
Why are Christmas trees banned at the mental hospital?
They would hang themselves like ornaments.
What's tree plus tree?
Sticks!
When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...
Why doesn't Newton cut trees in vanilla Minecraft? Because he wants Minecraft to be realistic!
What is the difference between a leaf falling from a tree and an emo falling from a tree?
The leaf falls to the ground, the emo just hangs there.
What did the fat guy say to the tree?
"Get me some coconuts!"
Why do orphans die young?
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
If you were to drop an emo and a leaf off a tree, who would hit the ground first?
The leaf, because the emo is always hanging.
What did the acorn say when it grew up?
Geometry.
(Geometry= "Gee, I'm a tree!")
Little Mickel was on a tree.
He fell down and hurt his knee.
He sat down and started to cry, and from there, he would never lie.
What did the big tree say to the little one? Grow a pear!
What was the oak tree's response to the apple tree's joke?
You should leaf it alone!
Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."