Tree jokes
Question: What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left hanging.
Kid: Dad, what is it like to be drunk?
Dad: You see those two trees over there? If you were drunk, you would see four.
Kid: Dad, there is only one tree.
What’s a teacher's favorite tree?
A geometry.
Us three get along well. I guess you could say we're the TREE-o!
My sister is so ugly that she had to have a child with me to keep the family tree going.
Ur dad lesbian.
Ur sister a mister.
Ur family tree LGBT.
Ur family reunion a homosexual communion.
Radiohead had to remake "Fake Plastic Trees" after encountering Carrie Underwood in real life for the first time.
How to make the kissing in a tree recognizable: me and you k.i.s.s.i.n.g., tree sitting, wedding, love, then comes love, then comes baby in the carriage, then hate comes, divorce and purse.
FEW!!!!!!!
My depressed mom looks good hanging from a tree.
In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle Dave...
Why is a tree brown?
If you are thinking about this, you are racist.
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.
On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."
So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.
I despise lumberjacks. They are always barking up the wrong tree, all bark and no bite.
They just need to leaf people alone or stick with something nicer.
Why doesn't Newton cut trees in vanilla Minecraft? Because he wants Minecraft to be realistic!
How do trees find each other? They log-ate!
The chicken is actually a fruit because it is grown on a pole-tree.
Person: What's your perfect date look like?
Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.
What did a tree say to the tomato?
Nothing! Trees don't talk, silly.
What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?
They both hang from trees.
"Vladymoron Pootin and Drunkard Chump sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."