Tree jokes
3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?
Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!
What did the tree say to the Lumberjack? Leaf me alone!
Do you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears! :3
What did the math acorn say when it grew up?
"Gee-I'm-a-tree."
The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.
Memes
Off brand Hollow Knight
I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.
Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."
What are the similarities between apples and emos?
They both hang from trees.
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.
What do you call an Indian man stuck in a tree?
A leaf.
My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.
In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.
Why did Helen Keller have no ornaments on her Christmas tree?
'Cause she always dropped them.
What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?
A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.
Why did Sally run into a tree?
She is blind.
How to become a monkey?
Put a red dot on your forehead.
Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.
Ur dad lesbian.
Ur sister a mister.
Ur family tree LGBT.
Ur family reunion a homosexual communion.
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
What's worse than 5 babies tied to 5 trees?
1 baby tied to 5 trees.
What is the difference between a tree house for dinner, and dinner with you today after school?
What is brown and extremely sticky?
A stick.