3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?
Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!
Tree Jokes
What is the world's strongest material?
The tree that Paul Walker hit.
"Where do young trees go to learn?"
"Elementree school."
What did the tree say to the Lumberjack? Leaf me alone!
Do you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears! :3
What did the math acorn say when it grew up?
"Gee-I'm-a-tree."
I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.
Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."
What are the similarities between apples and emos?
They both hang from trees.
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.
What do you call an Indian man stuck in a tree?
A leaf.
My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.
In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.
What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?
A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.
Why did Sally run into a tree?
She is blind.
How to become a monkey?
Put a red dot on your forehead.
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
What's worse than 5 babies tied to 5 trees?
1 baby tied to 5 trees.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
I was really rooting to tell that one.
What is brown and extremely sticky?
A stick.
Where’s the best place to put a Christmas tree?
In between Christmas two and Christmas four. 😉😂😂
What is worse: 10 babies stapled to 1 tree, or 1 baby stapled to ten trees?
