Tree jokes
Once, an orphan purposely fell out of a tree. He forgot his parents wouldn't catch him.
What do a priest and Christmas tree lights have in common?
They can both flash.
What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?
They both hang from a tree!
Why did the orphan get 1 mark out of 6 from a project yesterday? Because it was a family tree project.
3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?
Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!
I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.
Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.
What are the similarities between apples and emos?
They both hang from trees.
What do you call an Indian man stuck in a tree?
A leaf.
My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.
In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.
Why did Helen Keller have no ornaments on her Christmas tree?
'Cause she always dropped them.
What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?
A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.
Why did Sally run into a tree?
She is blind.
Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.
How to become a monkey?
Put a red dot on your forehead.
Ur dad lesbian.
Ur sister a mister.
Ur family tree LGBT.
Ur family reunion a homosexual communion.
What is worse: 10 babies stapled to 1 tree, or 1 baby stapled to ten trees?
Where’s the best place to put a Christmas tree?
In between Christmas two and Christmas four. 😉😂😂
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
I was really rooting to tell that one.
What is brown and extremely sticky?
A stick.