Tree

Tree Jokes

Apple Tree

3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?

Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!

Innuendo

I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.

Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."

Emo

What are the similarities between apples and emos?

They both hang from trees.

Kobe Bryant

Her: I love Kobe Bryant!

Me: Helicopter Helicopter

Her:.....

Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.

Sister

My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.

In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.

Baby

What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?

A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.

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  • Way

    Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.

    Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.

    Baby

    What's worse than 5 babies tied to 5 trees?

    1 baby tied to 5 trees.

    Mouth

    If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?

    I was really rooting to tell that one.

    Christmas Tree

    Where’s the best place to put a Christmas tree?

    In between Christmas two and Christmas four. πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Baby

    What is worse: 10 babies stapled to 1 tree, or 1 baby stapled to ten trees?