How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?
Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.
How do you cure a ginger?
Chemotherapy.
How do you get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Doctor: I'm sorry, but your surgery will cost a lot of money.
Buuuuut what's this behind your ear?
Oh, it's still cancer.
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
A man books a session to see a therapist, as he claims he has a strong fear of the 15th, 9th and 3rd letters of the alphabet. So once the therapist, let's call him Frank, has jotted that down on his notebook, he says, "Oh, I see."
Kid with Cancer: "When I get older, I want to be a movie star or a singer."
Nurse: *Laughs*
Kid: "Why are you laughing?"
Nurse: "When I get OLDER."
Proceeds to laugh.
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
Disney just released a new film about a poor kid with cancer. It’s called Finding Chemo.
What is the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Dark humor never gets old, just like children with cancer.
"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"
What do you do when you get rid of prostate cancer?
Cell-ablate!
You know I want an ADHD cure.
When?
Squirrel!
How do you tell a child they have cancer?
With a smile on your face.
What do you do when you finish a magazine in the hospital? Reload and keep firing.
Q: Why are medication pills white?
A: Because they work
A few men have curved penises, but they can fix that problem by straightening it out.
I'm sorry your dad beat you instead of cancer.
A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.
Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."
Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."
